Long, A Little Braggy and Weird.

Kind of a weird day. The kiddos are on Spring Break which has thrown my “Rainman”-like need for a predictable schedule into a complete shambles. Subsequently, I have gone the ENTIRE day thinking it’s TUESDAY. It is, in fact, WEDNESDAY. Oh. I somehow even managed, confused as I was, to bring M to occupational therapy, thinking it was Tuesday. At least my subconscious was functioning.

Adding to the weirdness…I am a 32 year old, semi-mature mother of two, but…I can’t stop laughing at, “Yo’ Mama” jokes

Funny...
Thought provoking...
Now that one's just WRONG! (But still funny, sorry, but I'm laughing!)
Ok, now I just can't stop myself...

They have been runnin’ around in my head all day. Since I’m NOT in high school (and it IS Spring Break, after all) I have no one to sick my jokes on…so instead, I stood in the shower after a 3 mile run (we’ll get to that in a moment), telling MYSELF the joke, and giggling like a newly admitted psych ward patient scrubbing down for their first committed shower. Here two favorites... oldest to newest; old fav and new fav…

Yo’ Mama's so fat…her nickname is “DAMN!”

And

Yo’ Mama's so scary, they replaced “Halloween” with “YO’ MAMAWEEN!”

However, the REAL weirdness occurred when my darling 4 year old son not only discovered Newton’s First Law of Motion, but also Newton’s Second Law of Motion…and then proceeded to do a series of experiments. A HATES bragginess, and so do I. So please, take this as it is...one mother's observation. I mean, don't we ALL think our kid is Einstein? Now, it’s not unusual for M to tell us he’s working on “a project” or that he needs to go to his “laboratory” (the playroom) to do “experiments.” The boy IS science-minded. He has a biologist mother, an engineer father AND grandfather, AND a Ph.D accredited Geophysicist grandfather, let’s face it, he comes by it honest. So here’s what happened. While V played nicely with a puzzle and her Squawkers the Talking McCaw; and M was building with Legos (surprise, surprise), I SQUEEZED in a 3 mile run on the treadmill. We were busy all day (remember they are home for Spring Break) and I HATE putting their needs second to my own vanity. But since they were content, and I was in the same room, I hopped on the ol’ hamster wheel and started a-runnin.’ For some reason, Mr. Naughty (one of our four cats, he is my beloved black and white boy...more of a "roommate" than a "pet") LOVES when I run on the treadmill. He is mesmerized. And today, for Lord knows why, he decided it would be a great idea to have a go at it with me. Before I could look down and shout “NOOOOOOO!” he was on board, but at over 5 miles per hour, he didn’t stand a chance. He entered from the front, made his best attempted at running, (unfortunately due to his entry point he was running in the wrong direction) and shot out the back like a cannonball, and hit the wall with his shoulder. Although I don’t believe his person was hurt, I am positive his pride suffered a devastating blow, and he sulked away like the 1^st runner up in a beauty pageant.

M, ever observant, witnessed the entire transgression. He laughed and poked fun at Mr.’s nonsense, and I reminded him that it isn’t polite to guffaw at the short-comings of others. I continued to run. Presently, Max came to my side with a “Little People” school bus he hasn’t even touched in ages.

“I want to play with this, Mama!” he said.

Exstatic that he was interested in ANYTHING other than Legos or Transformers, I encouraged this.

“…And,” he added, “My experiment is to watch it ZOOM down the treadmill, just like Mr!”

Oh.

I made him wait until I was done.

I have a very basic understanding of high school physics, but all I could think to myself was, “an object in motion, stays in motion, unless…” and then I forgot the rest. But was it possible that M was TESTING this very Physics Priciple??? No…of course not…he’s only 4…

When all was said and done, M had indentified AND demonstrated Newton’s First and Second Laws of Motion, (also in Latin, just in case M is reading this…ha ha, just kidding):

Newton's first law: law of inertia

Lex I: Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus a viribus impressis cogitur statum illum mutare.

Every body perseveres in its state of being at rest or of moving uniformly straight forward, except insofar as it is compelled to change its state by force impressed

Newton's second law: law of acceleration

Lex II: Mutationem motus proportionalem esse vi motrici impressae, et fieri secundum lineam rectam qua vis illa imprimitur.

The rate of change of momentum of a body is proportional to the resultant force acting on the body and is in the same direction.

When I was finished running, I allowed M to demonstrate…He eagerly approached the treadmill with his bus. WHOOOOOOSH! Down it went, just like Mr. Naughty. M squealed with joy.

“See Mama??? It goes faster and FASTER on the treadmill until the wall makes it STOP!”

Then he sent it up AGAINST the forward motion of the treadmill.

“See what happens now, Mama??? It’s SLOW, because it’s going the WRONG WAY!”

Ugg. I’m sure I’m just looking too far into this. He’s just playing…RIGHT?

Again and again it hit the wall behind the treadmill, and I could practically SEE the gears turning in his brain. Watching a 4 year old perform experiments is pretty awesome stuff. I think when I was his age I was eating paste and play-doh, picking my wedgy and plotting ways to send my little brother back UP from where he came…which was in my mother’s tummy.

So yeah, all in all, it was kind of a weird day, it’s Wednesday (I guess) and now I’m drinking wine.