Motherhood From the Edge...of MATURITY!

It’s not that I'm a huge fan of nudity, it’s just that I’m not a huge fan of making a big deal out of human anatomy. Let’s face it, when you make something taboo, it becomes a million times more interesting and exciting. Plus, I was a model for a human figure drawing class my sophomore year of college, and as they say in the South, I was completely NECKed! To me, it was no big deal, just a really great paycheck!

Don’t get me wrong, we don’t prance around our house like nudists. Nothing inappropriate. So if my kids happen to see Andrew or I getting in or out of the shower, and they see that Mama has this and Daddy has one of those, and they ask questions and we give them accurate, mature answers, then *hopefully* they won’t be TOO overly fascinated by the mystery of human anatomy later on.

So when V came in while I was showering the other day, I noticed that rather than talking to me, she was kind of staring. Our shower is clear glass and runs the width of the bathroom, so there was kind of a lot to see, I suppose. When I got out, I could see her curious toddler eyes moving across my chest, back and forth.

V: Mama, what are THOSE things?

She said, as she pointed to my busoms.

(Me thinking: “I breastfed her! What the eff? Is she JUST seeing these puppies for the first time? No wonder she was such a fussy eater…” And of course, her query caught me COMPLETELY off guard, no anatomically correct lingo here, I went straight for the slang…exactly what we’d planned NOT to do.)

Me: Uh, those are my boobies.

V: Boobies?

Me: Yes.

V: Where are MY boobies?

Me: (lifting her shirt to show her) Here and Here.

V: (Interested, but also slightly disappointed) Mama…I have small boobies. (Thinking…) And Mama, you have BIG boobies!

While all of this was going down, M was (thankfully) elsewhere playing and Andrew was closing out our March budget, a task that almost ALWAYS leads him to an instant bad mood, and me to the “doghouse” for over spending. After having this conversation with V, and then reenacting it for Andrew, he gave me his mock-disapproving face, but turned back to his budget with a HUGE smile.