Redemption

Most, if not all, relationships follow a sine wave. My marriage ebbs and flows just like everyone else’s marriage (if you don’t think that you have speed bumps in your relationship—you’re lying); there is a reason our wedding vows said, “in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for richer or for poorer,” it’s because the vows follow the natural patterns of life. Sometimes you “got it,” sometimes you don’t. It’s not that we ever have any real problems, more like we aren’t always on the same page. Sometimes even the same chapter. Or book. Ha ha.

So when Andrew came home from TEN days out of the country on business looking like this:

And feeling like this (note: I'm the kitty-cat):

And I was feeling like this: (note: poor Andrew)

It is easy (and kinda funny, sorry Andrew) to see why there was some “tension.” I can’t help it if it takes me a while to “get my groove back” after ten days of abstinence! Subsequently, that “tension” kind of snowballed into “friction” (not in a good way) which turned into a lot of bickering. It’s the worst. It’s like fighting with your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite comfy sweatshirt. It seemed the only thing we could agree on was how excited we were to visit Northern Virginia. Having been away for so long, and now viewing our amazing Carolina town as “home,” we have forgotten many of the effed up things that sent us running for the hills. Literally.

I must admit, I am so excited about seeing all of our old friends and family, I have butterflies in my stomach. And of ALL the people and places we are visiting, I just can’t wait to drive through my old home town. Granted it’s TOTALLY changed, and shallow and inundated with wealthy, self-centered morons…but for me…I will pretend I am going back in time, to the town I remember growing up in…Mmmm, I can still taste Thelma’s homemade black raspberry ice-cream…

But there was one teeny tiny thing nagging on my mind…what are we going to do with Sparkle, our Amazing Outdoor Wondercat!? I mean, while we are home, Sparkle hangs around outside during the day (barely venturing from our yard of nearly an acre and NEVER (say never!) crossing the street) and comes into the garage at night, for safe-keeping. Our three indoor cats will be just fine under our neighbor Tina’s watchful eye (there will be a blog about Tina in the future…she ROCKS and kicks it old skool…and I LOVE HER), but I would hate to put the pressure of watching out for Sparkle Ohley-Oh on anyone else.

So last night, with Andrew and I barely speaking (although not particularly angry at one another) I gently broached the subject.

“Um, when we go to Northern Virginia, um, what uh, do you think we ought to do with um Sparkle?” I asked.

“I was thinking the same thing.” He said.

“You were?” I asked SURPRISED!

“Yes.” He said.

“Why didn’t you TELL me?” I asked.

“I was thinking about it last night but I didn’t want to upset you.” He said.

“Well, what do you think we should do? I was thinking about um, well, boarding her.” I said, gingerly, knowing, just knowing, Andrew would fight me on it.

“I was thinking the same thing.” He replied.

I was DUMBFOUNDED. Andrew pretends that he doesn’t care about the cats. He uses ANYTHING as an excuse. Time, money, the fact that they are “filthy animals,” (Ha ha) but at the end of the day…I know the truth. I know he loves them. I know he loves me, and he knows I love them, and that’s part of the reason he loves them. But he’s also kind, and gentle and loving; and the cats are part of our family.

When Andrew said (ON HIS OWN) that he wanted to board Sparkle while we were away so that she would be safe and we wouldn’t have to worry about was all I needed. Marriage is about choosing battles. It’s one, big Kenny Rogers song… “you gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.” Andrew knows that next to the kids, the cats are my greatest worry. Redemption. All bets were off. The reset button was hit. POOF! We were BACK on the same page.

Folks these days are so quick to throw down their cards and fold their hand before the game was even played. But sometimes the best part of the game is played out when both players seem down and out, and if they wait long enough, they’ll realize they are both winners. There aren’t many things I know for sure in this life, but I do know this: I absolutely married the right person. The proof is in the puddy tat…I'm glad we're sailing this life boat together. Happily Ever After.