View Eskew

There is a much debated psychological phenomenon called, Depressive Realism, which holds that the depressed have the most accurate sense of perception because they are the group of society that most fully understand their importance (or lack of), their faults and abilities and (maybe most significantly) how little control anyone has on the actions and events that shape our lives. In her book The Constitution of Selves, Marya Schechtman says “The depressed person, the suspicious person, the optimistic person and the angry person might tell quite different narratives of the same events, but they are all comprehensible and in most cases it seems misguided to argue about which one is most accurate. Of course, Depressive Realism would argue the depressed person’s view would be the closest to factual reality.

Personally, I believe that Depressive Realism is more of an attitude than anything else; that in the end, a person’s view of the world all boils down to “half full/half empty.” It’s all in how you CHOOSE to look at things. I am fully aware of how awful things can get…FAST. Our October in 2007 was proof of that. I was hitting an all time low in my life, struggling with every curve ball the powers that be could throw our way. But rather than wring my hands and wallow in depression, I seized the opportunity as a period of amazing personal growth. I mean, I even brought this blog back. Julie Newmar (yes, the original Cat Woman…the parallels never cease!) said, “You can’t fail. The further you fall, the greater the opportunity for growth and change.” Meow.

But I digress…

Although I, myself, have a very clear and reasonable understanding of life, my silly, adorable, gorgeous, hilarious, Hello Kitty loving daughter…does not.

I would LOVE to live in V’s little world. While I don’t think she needs to have her vision checked (or her head examined, as my Grammy would say…ha ha), I can say with a modicum of certainty that her Rose-Colored Glasses are in full effect, planted firmly on her button-nose. If anyone can see the beauty in everything they see, it’s V…and I have proof!

V’s constant exhuberance, her excitement over the littlest things is hilarious, if not sometimes inappropriate. While shopping at Best Buy for a computer game for M, V and I were browsing around. Feeling generous (regrettably in this economy…), I decided to allow her to choose a “Little Einsteins” DVD.

Hey Kiddo! Which video do you want, Sweetie?” I asked. A little voice answered me from behind, “Mama LOOK! You LIKE THESE! THESE ARE FOR YOU!” Her volume and register getting higher and louder with every word. She was holding these, one in each hand.

Bless her heart, these were the movies she’d picked for me. No, I didn’t buy them for myself, but thanks for wondering.

And the proof that V’s vision of reality is not…um…all that accurate? Yesterday V and I were trolling iTunes, hoping to add some new music to either my running catalog or the Mommy and V Dance Mix (we picked “Y.M.C.A”) and we came across a photo that caused V to scream out in delight,

“LOOK MAMA, THAT’S YOU!!!”

It was Madonna.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, the resemblance is uncanny (I kid, I kid), but of course I humored my daughter, replying, “Yes! There I am!” Muttering under my breath, “in some fantasy life…”

And of this photo, V pointed out, "Mama, there you have ROLLER SKATES! You're havin' FUN Mama!" The long hair, the giant sunglasses, it was an honest mistake.

A bit later, I was organizing TONS of pictures on my computer, and suddenly V pointed and giggled, “Look Mama, you have a BABY!”

“Yes, V, there I am with my baby, is that YOU?” I laughed.

I'd like to share this intimate family photo of me holding V as a baby. Please enjoy.

I don’t think there is anything I can do about the sometimes painfully accurate way I view the world. I’m not old, by any means, but I have been around the proverbial block. I can only hope that V’s outlook doesn’t change either. I think the world of V (as any good Mama should!) and God love her, she obviously thinks pretty highly of me, too! Although totally and wholly unrealistic, V’s mind is CLEARLY of the “glass is half-full” variety. I suppose that another one of my “Mama Jobs” is to make sure that positive prospective never changes. Mama Madonna, over and out.