What's In A Name?

Some things are “universal,” meaning interchangeable or applicable in any and all situations. We have universal remote controls for use on all electronics. There are universal cell phone chargers, screw drivers; universal “wish lists,” adapter plugs…there is even a philosophy of “universal ethics,” a code we are all supposed to abide by.

When my friend B came to visit me with her 3-year-old son D, we all got a kick out of the fact that he started calling my husband, “Daddy.” We surmised that D heard my kids, (Fifi LaWooWoo and May-May) call him, “Daddy,” and was like, “Oh, hey, I know someone named Daddy, too! What a coincidence!” And so, “Daddy” Andrew became. To Everyone. It probably doesn’t help that I have a VERY bad habit of calling Andrew, “Daddy,” myself. Before we had kids, we promised each other that we would NEVER call each other “Mommy and Daddy,” (or as we joke with West Virginia flair…”Maw-Mee and Deddy.”) Oh how we used to LAUGH and make fun of those lame-o’s who called each other “Mom and Dad.” But, like so many other things we SWORE up and down we’d never do, that went right out the window with M’s first breath of life. B’s son D never meant any disrespect to his own Daddy, and eventually we convinced D to call Andrew “BIG Daddy,” the way I myself, lovingly refer to him. It was SO freakin’ cute…Andrew would get home from work, my kids would be like, “Daddy’s home, Yeah!” and D would yell, “Yeah, Big Daddy’s home!” It’s the way things should be between great friends…like family.

But D isn’t the only toddler ever to call Andrew, “Daddy.” My friend E’s daughter M (two months younger than V…so a few months shy of 3-years-old) started calling Andrew “Daddy” around Halloween. Now, ordinarily that would melt Andrew’s heart, just as it did when D called him “Daddy,” but E is a single mom, and M doesn’t remember her own Daddy, and that just SLAYS Andrew. E’s husband left her after she had M, and after 7 years of marriage and E has been raising M alone, ever since. In addition, M is so totally adorable…big chubby cheeks, steely grey eyes and jet black hair. I think E was uncomfortable and embarrassed the first time M called Andrew “Daddy.” We played it off really well and that was that. But tonight when they came over for dinner, there was no denying the fact that M was calling Andrew “Daddy”…repeatedly. E laughed awkwardly and said, “Uh…she hasn’t met a lot of ‘Daddys.’” But tonight, we just embraced it. I was like, “So what? So she calls Andrew “Daddy! The only person NOT calling him “Daddy” here is you! So let her call him that, we don’t care, if you don’t!”

So “Daddy” it was!

When they left, M went around the room asking for a hug AND kiss from each person. I complied, V (reluctantly) complied (she was tired and in between tantrums), M planted a big ‘ol kiss on the top of her head and hugged her like a bear. Andrew was trying to slink away, unsure of the appropriateness of hugging and kissing a two year old who isn’t his daughter. But little M persisted after him.

“Give that baby a hug-n-kiss!” I ordered Big Daddy.

Andrew bent down and gave M a one-armed-hug, as if one of his co-workers was requesting a hug or two teammates congratulating each other after a good game. M wasn’t satisfied.

“Kiss, Daddy?” She asked.

Andrew leaned down and gave her a little kiss on the head, and she scampered away like “Boo” from “Monsters Inc.”

So call him Ward Cleaver. Call him Howard Cunningham. Call him Darren Stephens or even Heathcliff Huxtable. I think of him as Ricky Ricardo, because I always have “Splanin’ to do.” Andrew has the “universal dad” quality that appeals to and disarms the little kid in all of us. It’s the reason he’s the ONLY person (besides my own father) who can tell me what to do (and I actually listen.) I’m sure when V is sixteen and starts calling us by our first names as an act of defiance, we’ll have to quote one of my all time favorite movies, “Some Kind of Wonderful,” She’s Mom, I’m Dad and you’re nuts! (And not just to our own kids, but apparently everyone else, as well!)

I call him, "Big Daddy," but this is how Andrew sees himself..."Andrew Hefner."