You want me to wear WHAT?!

The world of Kindergarten has opened up what is probably my most favorite time of motherhood, so far. I feel sorry for underestimating my own child, but after he came back from the first week of school writing sentences (not “sentence,” but SENTENCES) I was appropriately impressed. And after homework tonight, I couldn’t believe how fluently he was reading. And by “fluently” I mean, he is balancing my checkbook as I write this.

Now that about a month has passed since the first day of school, the parents are allowed to have lunch with their kids. The teachers asked that we wait a few weeks so the kids could establish their schedule, which is especially true for M since (according to my dad) the reason he is thriving is due to his love of “schedule and order.” But since M has informed me that his lunch room has already experienced MULTIPLE visitors (his words and emphasis…) I decided that I would make an impromptu appearance in the cafeteria tomorrow at approximately 11:00 am. Cue the paparazzi.

That being said, and to honor M’s love of “routine,” I informed him, in advance, that I would be “lunching” with him tomorrow (clearly 11:00 am is WAY too early for me, I will snack on a South Beach bar instead and subject myself to the whispers of the other adults present… “BITCH.” Ha ha. I wasn’t sure what the other mommies would be wearing since, these days, my “uniform” most consistently is comprised of “booty shorts” and a tank top, or pajamas (Oh, how I *LOVE* being a stay at home mom!) and I was pretty sure “Daisy Dukes” are on the “Do Not Wear” list for Elementary School, so I asked M, “What would you like me to wear tomorrow?”

M, as always, waxed pensive, and really thought my query through.

“A very beautiful dress,” he spoke, and paused…

Yes! I can do that! I JUST bought a “very beautiful” dress (from the Belk’s Junior’s Department) that is slightly conservative (it’s black) and would look really super cute…

He finished his sentence…

“…and UNDERWEAR.”

My Mother, Father and I (who were all at the table eating dinner with M and V) exchanged sideward glances…they, with a twinkle in their eyes…and me with a horrified, apologetic, shoulder-shrugging frown. Another lesson in life...if our kids can't keep us honest, who can? I mean, we can’t ALL be classy, can we?

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