My New Hair-Do -or- How Big Daddy Dodged A Bullet

I will be publishing Sparkle's near-death experience in the next few days...until then...here is a little story...

I *FINALLY* got to the salon after WA-HEY too long. If I was writing a rap song about my hair-do, I would have included the lyrics, "I'm so 'Root-y,' I play for Notre Dame." My hair turned out great; and for fun, my hairdresser curled my hair to show how I can enhance my newly healthy, natural wavy hair.

That was yesterday. I slept on it, and today I played up the sexy bedhead that day-old color and curls create.

When Big Daddy got home, I unclipped my hair, shook out my curls and asked,"What do you think?"

"Wow! I like it!" He said, "It looks great!"

I was thrilled. Big Daddy is VERY picky about hair.

But he should have stopped when he was ahead.

"You look like...you look like...Nicole...Nicole..." I was trying to think and I could practically see the wheels turning as he was trying to figure out who he was thinking of.

Richie? I wondered! Yes! I mean, I'd LOVE to be cute and skinny like her...but the hair is not really the same.

Kidman? Awesome! I look nothing like her I mean, she's not exactly my doppelganger, but I'll take it!

But before I could think of any other cute "Nicoles," Big Daddy remembered who he was thinking of.

"Smith!" he said. "Anna Nicole Smith! Yeah, you look like her."

WHAT?! My face paled and my jaw went slack. Images of Bobby Trendy, HUGE boobs (I, myself am a card carrying member of the "Itty Bitty Titty" Committee after having birthed two breastfed babies and then losing 25+ lbs. from my pre-pregnancy weight)...Visions of dirty old men with money ogling big hips shoved into too-small Guess? jeans. Stripper poles, trailer parks, high-pitched baby babble, attorneys-cum-creepy boyfriends and closeted but obviously gay baby-daddies and the infamously slurred, "Do you like my baaaahhhhh-deee?" awards show train wreck swirled around my head like Bobby Trendy's lip gloss.

"You know, back when she was pretty." He added casually, unaware of the impending doom he narrowly avoided..."You look like that."

Thank God he "qualified" it, peace and balance once again restored.